A few months ago I interviewed David Razowsky about his new book, life and why anything happens in this world. To say that David is my mentor would be an understatement. He led in me great personal change that extends beyond improv, and into my parenting and being a good husband. I thought I would share some of the things he taught me that I use on stage and in my life.

Check in – look at your partner. What do their eyes say to you? How are they standing? Are they relaxed? Tense? Are you the reason they are either? What does that tell you? What’s YOUR honest reaction?

Listen to what’s not being said. Respond only to that. Sure, the suggestion was “Spaghetti” great. Now your scene partner is talking about dinner, or a restaurant. Whatever. That’s fine. WHAT IS THEIR SUBTEXT? You need to listen with more than your ears! What are they really saying to you? That’s all that matters. You need to listen with your heart. Spaghetti will take care of itself.

Fuck funny – I don’t care about funny. I don’t need you to be funny. I need you to be honest. If you’re honest in a scene and you listen. Funny will happen. I’m not worried about being funny.

Follow the heat of the scene – What is the most important thing that has happened in the scene? What made you pause? What tickled your feelings. Follow that! The audience will tell you what they like, that’s heat too! You are all there to share an experience. If you listen to your heart, your partner’s heart and what the audience tells you they like, that’s the HEAT you can feel it. They can feel it. Your partner can feel it. Go to the heat.

The game of the scene – Everyone tries to break down “finding the game of the scene” but it’s nothing you can just write about. There’s not a quantity you can place on it. The “game” is the thing you or your partner do that you find fun. If you find something fun. Enjoy that. Just do that. Don’t try to force everyone else to do it. If what you’re doing looks like fun, everyone will want to play. And then that’s the “game of the scene” because it’s a game. And games are fun.

There are no small details – A slight movement from your partner, a small statement, can have a HUGE impact on you. What does it mean to you? Say it! Tell us how you really feel! Why is today different? Show us!

Don’t let the BIG things pass you by – I can’t tell you how many times I see a scene and someone makes a HUGE statement, and their scene partner brushes it off. You can actually feel the audience go “Oh, I would have said something…” If your partner says something huge. THAT’S WHAT THE SCENE IS ABOUT. Nothing else. Not spaghetti. Not anything else.

Your character starts its life the moment you step on stage – The way you take the first step. How does that person stand. Are they tight in the back? The hips? How do they walk in a room? What does that tell you about what their voice sounds like? What does that voice tell you about who they are? What status does that person have? What are their hobbies? What do they love and hate? It all informs you. (I won’t lie, I broke down doing this exercise. I cried.)

Play. Just play – This is fun. We do this to have fun. So, have fun. Be a kid again. Be a dad, be a mom. Be the thing you would never get cast in. We only get so many moments to be on stage. When you’re up there. Have fun. Otherwise, why are you doing this?